Good, bad, ugly

* Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
* Bad: You can't find your birth control pills
* Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them

* Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
* Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
* Ugly: You're in them

* Good: Your husband understands fashion
* Bad: He's a cross-dresser
* Ugly: He looks better than you

* Good: Your son's finally maturing
* Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
* Ugly: So are you

* Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter
* Bad: She keeps interrupting
* Ugly: With corrections

* Good: Your wife's not talking to you
* Bad: She wants a divorce
* Ugly: She's a lawyer

* Good: The postman's early
* Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47
* Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas

* Good: Your daughter got a new job
* Bad: As a hooker
* Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients
* Way ugly: She makes more money than you do

* Good: You're son is dating someone new
* Bad: It's another man
* Ugly: He's you're best friend

* Good: You're wife is pregnant.
* Bad: It's triplets
* Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.