A lucky man

"You know," a guy told his buddies, "I'm a lucky man.I never realized how much my wife loved me until the other day when I had to stay home sick from work."
"What did she do?" someone asked.
"She was so happy to have me home," he said, "that every time someone came to the door, like the mailman or milkman, she'd shout, 'My husbands home! My husband's home!'"

Old is when ...

"Old" is when...

...your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"

...you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't

have to go along.

...when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

...when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the

police.

..."getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

..."getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

... an "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!